Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Late night thoughts.
"Love is giving someone the power to hurt you, but trusting that person not to."
That was what I said to a girl I was chatting with who had a similar relationship problem as me earlier.
Well I envy her, at least she had 1 good relationship, compared to mine... yeah... tons of crappy...-
Nevermind! Just did as much as I can for my Entrepreneur project, actually I'm stuck, there's a few things I can't do. I thought I can just skip to the back do the hard ones 1st then move back to easy ones, but I realise that section 3 requires alot of data from section 2 which is incomplete no thanks to 2 person I can name -.-
So since I can't do anything at the moment & I've just taken my medication which means I will fall asleep very shortly I might as well take this times to say a few... things yeah things :S
I dunno what is wrong with me honestly. Why can't my resolve be strong, why do I always have a soft spot easily exploited?
I had really wish to wipe you off my memories, to never hold any false hopes that I have a place in your heart anymore. But I can't & it's tearing me up.
No matter how I try to resist, I would just keep looking your blog, your Facebook's profile & his, sometimes even click on the link unconsciously, just to see how are you doing?
Why did I do that for? I gave it a thought & the answer I could up is this, because I wanted to see you both happily together. Together lovingly & all that, maybe post some pictures of you both together smiling away, hugging close to each other, write loving messages to each other's tagbox or Facebook's wall.
That way when I see such things I can reassuringly tell myself to give up completely.
Because she has found her love & I shouldn't intrude further. This way it will reduce the pain I got from my heartaches.
But then fate is cruel, there wasn't a single thing I expected to see!
Instead I found things that continue to feed me hope, messages sent by you that continue to mislead my feelings, kind words instead of cruel ones that fed me more false hopes.
Words like: "Things change, but memories don't."
And you refuse to remove that donkey from your MSN picture.
I want to stop believing that you still have something for me, you would ask me not to think too much, but I have tired to & failed terribly.
I don't want to get hurt again, that is why I'm trying so hard to wall up my heart but you keep breaking it down, whether unintentionally or not.
I'm not sad or emo, rather I'm confused emotionally. I have been through this before & I did not like it.
Before there was a girl that made me like this too, up till today I can say I still kept that feelings for her during then somewhere in my heart although it was a few years back already.
Up till today I dare not confess to her again, although she never directly reject me I knew from back then she had someone else in her heart, there is no room for me.
So I rather bury that feelings deep down & let things be as it is, I don't want to scare her away by suddenly confessing again, that girl reads my blog often but I don't want to say names, otherwise I doubt she will read my blog again, right?
Some of you may think that I seem like a flirt, having feelings for so many girls in my heart. Let me tell you all something you may or may not know.
I like to think myself as a person, whose feeling I have to a specific girl is like a flame that never burns out.
If somehow you capture my heart, that flame will burn very strongly for you, impossible to put out unless you put it out through force, which is to say do something to break my heart very bad.
But as long as you can make that flame burning strongly, its safe to say you have my 100% devotion.
GOSH! I said too much already, this kind of thing is for you all to find out not for me to say... Zzz... Say too much liao now must zip up! :x
But then what I just say are all true, whether you all want to believe or not is up to you la.
Medicine is starting to take effect liao, see things blur blur le, eyes also slowly closing, not bad leh this medicine very power, next time I got sleepless nights I confirm will take one to knock myself out.
Good night everyone!!
Good night... piggy :)
I hope I can see your message tomorrow... I hope... :)
I hope I can see your message tomorrow... I hope... :)
~.Tags replies.~
♠miki: I got no flesh to let you pinch >.< Ok la, I gave you a proper tag liao, go see your blog ;P
♔
.~♠♥♦♣~.
King
.~♠♥♦♣~.
King
what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 11/04/2009 02:18:00 AM
0 people in the crowd heard my words
0 people in the crowd heard my words
