Friday, October 23, 2009
Confuse... lost.
I don't know what kind of emotions I have right now?
I really hate those emo feelings in me, its because I let myself drown in sorrow that I begin to lose everything, even her love.
I should have made a silent exit out of her life, probaly is better for her.
I was sure of my determination when I made the call to her, but after hearing her voice & chatting with her, my determination just came crumbling down.
Worst still, I made her cry again, I swear I'm seriously the worst kind of person in this world, my existance bring about her unhappiness..
Hearing her just brings back flashes of bad memories to me, its makes me what to die, last night I was about to lose myself.
Plus the fatigue from not sleeping for almost a day plus is really starting to push me down and yet those unwanted emo feelings kept coming in, I wanted to keep my promise not to show it out to her, but I couldn't control it.
You're right, that personality of mine is really dragging me down, of all the positive personalities I have I had to always show this negative one.
I haven't slept for 46 hours already, I stayed up waiting for your message.
But there wasn't any messge, it never came.
I guess I won't hold anymore hope that I will have a place in your heart le.
Over the past few days I may delete my blog, I don't wish for her to see me upset or anything, then slowly I will disappear as abruptly as I have appeared in her life.
Life now is going back before the time in Changi Beach...
The möbius strip continues...
Time to steel myself for the day to come, housework before I leave the house, gym & finally a job interview.
Where's the Dexter with the unwavering confidence?
Come back back to me please, I can really use your help now.
I really hate those emo feelings in me, its because I let myself drown in sorrow that I begin to lose everything, even her love.
I should have made a silent exit out of her life, probaly is better for her.
I was sure of my determination when I made the call to her, but after hearing her voice & chatting with her, my determination just came crumbling down.
Worst still, I made her cry again, I swear I'm seriously the worst kind of person in this world, my existance bring about her unhappiness..
Hearing her just brings back flashes of bad memories to me, its makes me what to die, last night I was about to lose myself.
Plus the fatigue from not sleeping for almost a day plus is really starting to push me down and yet those unwanted emo feelings kept coming in, I wanted to keep my promise not to show it out to her, but I couldn't control it.
You're right, that personality of mine is really dragging me down, of all the positive personalities I have I had to always show this negative one.
I haven't slept for 46 hours already, I stayed up waiting for your message.
But there wasn't any messge, it never came.
I guess I won't hold anymore hope that I will have a place in your heart le.
Over the past few days I may delete my blog, I don't wish for her to see me upset or anything, then slowly I will disappear as abruptly as I have appeared in her life.
Life now is going back before the time in Changi Beach...
The möbius strip continues...
Time to steel myself for the day to come, housework before I leave the house, gym & finally a job interview.
Where's the Dexter with the unwavering confidence?
Come back back to me please, I can really use your help now.
Run, turn around & run away, run till I can't anymore, just so you will never see into the darkness in my heart.
♔
.~♠♥♦♣~.
The King is losing his mind
.~♠♥♦♣~.
The King is losing his mind
what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 10/23/2009 10:27:00 AM
0 people in the crowd heard my words
0 people in the crowd heard my words
